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Dec 22, 2008

A Justifiably Obscure Christmas Jingle

Who's that flappin' down the chimney?  Who's that tappin' at the tree?
It's the elf with the bill, and he won't stop until every boy and girl is giddy with glee.

Every Christmas time he's at it again, a sack full of toys and an IQ of ten,
You might get meat or you might get a doll, 'cause he's got no clue who you are at all.

So open those presents and try your luck; it could be wood or it could be a truck,
Will Christmas be merry or will it suck?  You never can tell with Santa Duck!

Enjoy that chemistry set and/or pantyhose, kids!

Have a possibly Merry Christmas, Karen K.

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Comments

OMG, Erica! I honestly had no idea! Well, I guess I owe somebody royalties now...

Not That Mike The Other Mike
 |  Dec 22, 2008 at 09:27 PM

(opens present with glee)
gee Thanks Santa Duck! A pile of feathers and some bread crumbs! Just what I've always wanted!

Metz
 |  Dec 22, 2008 at 09:29 PM

Actually this duck looks very much like Billie (yeah I know not very original) a pet duck I had as a kid.
She went on to become teh mother, grandmother, etc...to a LOT of white and mixed ducks at our local park. And to think she started out as a little ball of yellow floof floating in my grandparent's bathtub.

Metz
 |  Dec 22, 2008 at 09:34 PM

I knew it was you, NTMTOM!
This is the best one you've written...well, since the last one. This looks like another taxidermy duck, but way
qte!

totalee puppy
 |  Dec 22, 2008 at 09:40 PM

A song for our ladies to sing:
"Santa Ducky, I've left instructions under the tree...
You see...no guesswork, no surprises for me...
no siree...So waddle to my chimney tonight...
Ducky Darling, I realize that you cannot read...no need...I've cut the pictures from the magazines...Just hurry to
Neiman Marcus--oh, and pick up designer jeans!
Throw the gift bags down the chimney tonight!

I've been good when times are tough...
Think of all the puppies that I haven't huffed...
I believe in Cute Overload...
I only drink tequila when I'm not on the road...so...

Santa Ducky, I've left a sack of corn fritter feed...bon appetit...
It's waiting by the fireplace tonight...
I'm feeling lucky...I'll get the bling and gift cards I need... (WHAT greed??)
Calendars from Cute Overload...oh, thirty- three!
And flap right down the chimney to me!"

totalee puppy
 |  Dec 22, 2008 at 10:16 PM

@Totalee Puppy: WELL PLAYED!!

Not That Mike The Other Mike
 |  Dec 22, 2008 at 10:18 PM

Breeliant NTMTOM!!! Simply breeliant!!!

I hope that's NOT a taxidermy duck...remember the commentroversy from the last time we saw a stuffed duck....???

(Brady Bunch wiggly flashback music)

http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/11/wtf.html

berthaservant
 |  Dec 22, 2008 at 10:32 PM

Yeah, the hovertext did me in.

Nice one...I needed a good laugh. :D

Transpogue
 |  Dec 22, 2008 at 10:49 PM

Oh yay! Last year Santa Duck gave me a sponge, windshield wipers, and a can of sterno.

Decca
 |  Dec 22, 2008 at 11:13 PM

Soooo! This is where my ex husband got Xmas present advice! Makes sense now!

Jenn
 |  Dec 22, 2008 at 11:56 PM

Soft! Must... pet...

skip
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 12:37 AM

Do I trust to luck
That the Christmas Duck
Presents won't suck?

Hon Glad
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 01:02 AM

I usually don't care for birds, but MY GOODNESS!!! is that a cute little honker!

gravy
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 02:06 AM

@Totalee: GREAT song!!!! "..think of all the puppies that I haven't huffed"....BWAHAHAHAH!!!!!

This ducky can just bring him/herself to my house....that's all the present I need!!

Gail (the first one)
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 02:14 AM

AWESOME. Oh my gosh. Rampant poetic genius strikes once again.

just me
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 04:21 AM

duck the halls!

meggy
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 04:32 AM

LMAO!
Yay, Santa Duckie!
Come on Peeps, more of what he left you. I got jumper cables and Viagra.

Theresa
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 04:34 AM

duck the halls!

meggy
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 04:38 AM

I got a can of creamed corn, some toothpaste and a scratch-off lottery ticket (not a winner). Oh, I wonder what he'll bring me this year!

momof2kitties
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 05:08 AM

What would Mr Flapper say??

Michele
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 05:13 AM

AFLAC

firefinch
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 05:14 AM

Is he related to Goosio?

http://mst3k.wikia.com/wiki/Goosio

T.U.M.
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 05:35 AM

....a bottle of store-brand 2-in-1 shampoo, a four-pack of cellulose sponges, a spatula, and a partridge in a pear tree....

Birdcage
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 06:04 AM

Poetical Christmas renditions are FAB.

bookmonstercats
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 06:09 AM

OMG my head just exploded. I love that fat little chunk of a puppeh!!!

NYVenus
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 06:09 AM

Christmas is coming,
The geese are getting fat,
Please put some friskies
In the old man's cat.
If you haven't got some friskies
Some meowmix will do,
If you haven't got meowmix
Winston will eat you!

Nancys'addiction
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 06:25 AM

Well, it pays better than AFLAC! Happy Holidays!

ThreeCatNight
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 06:38 AM

He left me a splat on my rug. Thank you, Santa Duck!

Kris10
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 06:54 AM

Love the holiday songs, peeps! Keep 'em coming!!

Kristabelle
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 07:00 AM

Standing OVATION. Holy f***.

>;)

Theo
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 07:02 AM

Hey BerthaServant -- I'm 100% with you on the Other Mike cover band idea. I have guitars, a bass, and a little gear, including PCs with my sequencing & audio-editing software...

We can call ourselves The NomTom Club. HOOah HOOah knee key chi!

Theo
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 07:06 AM

I can never top Nancy's addiction, but here goes:

Up on the housetop rein-hens cluck;
Out jumps dear old Christmas Duck,
Down through the chimney like Santa Claus,
Smell the singed feathers and orange sauce?
Quack, quack, quack,
He opens his sack,
Quack, quack, quack,
His gifts are whack, but
Up on the housetop, duck, duck, goose,
Down through the chimney like it was a sluice.

T.U.M.
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 08:00 AM

I love Santa Duck! He's both random and surreal. I like to call him Santa Da Da Duck. I hope he doesn't give me duck poop this Christmas.

Last year he gave me a Vintage Barbie doll (not in the packageing) and a tin of baked beans. Not bad really.

Kimski
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 09:02 AM

I showed my dad the photo and he asked if it was the AFLAC duck =P What I'm wondering now is where I can get one of those little hats with strings for another pet...? Maybe I'll just have to get a regular Santa hat and modify it myself.

@T.U.M. I think you matched Nancy's addition pretty well =D

crystalrabbit7
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 09:17 AM

I got a rock...

AuntieMame
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 09:40 AM

Singed feathers and orange sauce?! BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Love it!

Let's see, last year I received some tangled Christmas lights - half off - and a bent artificial tree.

Boomer's Babysitter
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 09:56 AM

I got a Japanese transistor radio.

It's a Nakashuma. The Mark IV model. That's the one that's discontinued.

It comes in a Leatherette case with holes in it, so you can listen right through the case.

And it has a wire with a thing on one end you can stick in your ear, and a thing on the other end that you can't stick anywhere because it's bent.

AuntieMame
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 10:30 AM

AFLAC duck? he looks more like the ELFLAC duck.

T.U.M.
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 10:45 AM

Deck the halls with ducks and holly
Fa la la la la -la la la la
Tis the time to quack real jolly
Fa la la la la -la la la la
Don we now our duck apparel
Fa la la -la la la -lA la la
Troll The ancient yule duck carole
Fa la la la la -la la la la!!!!

Annie
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 11:09 AM

I got a wood burning pen and a Lawrence Welk Christmas cd. I immediately put both to good use.

vonvon
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 11:25 AM

I didn't just get socks, I got a subscription to the Socks of the Month Club.

T.U.M.
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 11:41 AM

congrats karen on the post!

bethany
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 11:45 AM

*Laughin' ma quack off*

Ugh, someone didn't say "taxidermy" did they?

Lauri
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 12:09 PM

Vonvon -- gift A liberally applied to gift B, I presume?

Theo
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 12:17 PM

"Will Christmas be merry or will it suck? You never can tell with Santa Duck"!

ROLF!!!!! This is an absolute classic :-)

Louisa
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 01:22 PM

* hums The Holly & the Ivy *

That is Christmas card pretty. Whatta duck!

Kar
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 02:21 PM

Teho (if I may be so bold as to call you Teho), precisely.

vonvon
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 02:23 PM

Wow and WOW!
Best song EVER!
That is hilarious & brilliant!

Jorden
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 03:49 PM

Hello there, that's my ducky, Loopy. Thanks for letting her be part of cute overload.

Karen K
 |  Dec 23, 2008 at 06:00 PM

The comments to this entry are closed.

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