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Jun 30, 2008

I Can't Believe It's Not Kant!

While the common dog enthusiast may content himself to costume his cur in the guise of hackneyed pop-culture icons, retro-urban folk archetypes, or even perverse attempts at species confusion, the intellectual dog owner seeks to cloak Man's Best Friend not in the artificiality of cloth, but in the transcendence of Truth.  It is for these enlightened few that The Cute Overload School of Philosophy Gift Shop is pleased to offer ...

The Immanuel Kant Doggie Dress-Up Kit!

philosopher (L) pupster (R)

Each kit includes a deluxe leather-bound edition of Kant's Critique of Pure Reason translated into Dog, a set of Categories of the Understanding flash cards, and an easy-to-learn guide to teaching your dog pensive philosophical poses.

To order, contact Ian O.

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wow same crinklage under the eyes and everything!

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 12:26 PM

Translated into dog:

Rowf grrr howl rowr :tinkle: gurrur ower :whine: bark ruff :pant pant pant: arf growl....

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 12:29 PM

Wow Mike. Just wow.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 12:35 PM

So does the kit allow Immanuel Kant to dress up as a doggie, or do we dress up a doggie as Immanuel Kant? Or do we dress up as Immanuel Kant dressed up as a doggie? The mind boggles.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 12:46 PM

wHOAH there. I am impressed. How was this image found?? I mean who saw that and thought, Well there's a dog who looks like Kant. Well played NTMTOM.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 12:50 PM

eee heee! awesome hovertext...

(And René Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am.")

Not SupposedToBeDoingThisAtWork(GotANewJob)
 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 12:51 PM

kit should include Critique of Judgment
as clearly cuteness is an important category of aesthetics

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 12:54 PM

this (and the frozen coffee) totally made my afternoon. i just need a pipe to stick in my mouth and i'll be set.

P.S. NSTBDTAW(GANJ), I have a feeling that I am also most likely not supposed to be oogling cuteness at work...but today's my last day, so I don't feel bad. (I just like your name :P)

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 12:56 PM

wait...i meant, all I need is a pipe and I'll be set to be all philisophical. i should probably "preview" more often.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 12:57 PM


ps. it's official. mike, i lof you. if you aren't married, and don't mind the midwest, i have room for you to move in - right now. we can explore the ontological significance of whiskers while cuddling with my critter kids. bring yours along, if you've got 'em. just don't delay...twuu wuv is waiting!!!


 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 01:05 PM

Oh wow, this place just got all EHarmony and stuff.....


 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 01:14 PM

@DLT: That's very sweet, but honesty compels me to confess that it was the sender-inner, not me, who made the comparison:


... and that all I know about Immanuel Kant was what I could crib last night from Wikipedia.

Not That Mike The Other Mike
 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 01:21 PM

*plays the violin for romanteek background museek*

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 01:21 PM

I particularly miss Socrates... ;)


 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 01:25 PM

Wasn't it Plato who said the dog is the most philosophical of animals?

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 01:32 PM

Excellent work with those text links, too! Ain't nothing funnier than a pug dressed as Darth Vader.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 01:34 PM

Is this beautiful, or is it sublime?

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 01:37 PM

Kritik der Reinen Verwoof.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 01:38 PM

But what a world be like in which all doggies looked like Kant?

(Sorry, when the subject is philosophy, I just can't stop myself. I'm still trying to figure out how to make a joke about the possibility of synthetic a priori knowledge ...)

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 01:39 PM

LimeyG -- try Darth Vader dressed as a pug.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 01:39 PM

Nice, Sigivald.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 01:39 PM

"Translated into dog:

Rowf grrr howl rowr :tinkle: gurrur ower :whine: bark ruff :pant pant pant: arf growl...."

It's kinda like that in English, too.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 01:52 PM

@Psipsina: I think it was Pluto. ;-)

Not That Mike The Other Mike
 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 01:57 PM

...or Plutarch?

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 02:01 PM

*That's* the real pissant who was very rarely stable?

[Yep, ain't he a sweetie? - Ed.]

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 02:15 PM

Best. Title. Eva!

Seriously, it was so sublime. So so so so sublime.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 02:17 PM

I had a pet goldfish who was a dead ringer for Kierkegaard, and most alpaca's bear an uncomfortable resemblance to Noam Chomsky, but this takes the cake.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 03:16 PM

Um, no apostrophe. Sorry.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 03:17 PM

I am sure Kant would disaprove. LOL... that's great.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 03:21 PM

Wow, runing close to best post evah, not just the pictures and text, but the comment have me ROFL. Thanks for the intensely funny humor, folks!

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 03:22 PM

Hey guys, you can find out which philospher you are ere!

I'm part J.S. Mill, part Thomas Aquinas, which only makes sense if you know me.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 03:27 PM

PS, Beautiful, I think. Not terrifying enough to be sublime. ;)

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 03:31 PM

Okay, where have I heard that Heidegger doggerel (HA! DOGgerel! I crack myself up...) before?

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 03:36 PM

I got 100% Spinoza and I haven't the slightest idea who that is... (83% Aristotle...at least I'm familiar with WHO that is!!!) Thanks for the quiz, Theresa, even though it made my head hurt!

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 03:36 PM

@AuntieMame: It's the "Philosopher's Drinking Song," featured in a skit by Monty Python's Flying Circus. It appears on one of their recordings and also was performed in their live stage shows.


Not That Mike The Other Mike
 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 03:44 PM

I'm Jean-Paul Sartre, existentialist par excellence!

Hell is other puppehs.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 03:45 PM

NB: If you need a quick refresher on the history of philosophers and alcohol:

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 03:48 PM

NTMTOM, les grands esprits se rencontrent. ;)

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 03:50 PM

Also, Aussies will no doubt remember that this was the signature song of the Philosphy Department of the University of Wooloomooloo.

"Bruce here teaches classical philosophy, Bruce there teaches Hegelian philosophy, and Bruce here teaches logical positivism. And is also in charge of the sheep dip."

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 03:55 PM

Thanks, NTMTOM! I knew I'd heard it somewhere, and the only thing I could think of was Hitchhiker's Guide. But it wasn't sci-fi enough for that.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 03:58 PM

The spitting image! :)

All this dog needs is a powdered wig and a cravat.

Chocolate Chipped
 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 04:19 PM

This is why I love this site.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 04:46 PM

I am 100% Kant, which is not too troubling...but 62% Ayn Rand? Ick.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 05:15 PM

I am 100% John Stuart Mill - not sure if that is good but some of what I read on Wikipedia was pretty close to my way of thinking.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 05:41 PM

You beat me to it, Sigivald!

If you find a rat that looks just like Edmund Husserl, I will have to leave my husband, find you, and perform some kind of phenomenological reduction. Yes.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 06:05 PM

BerthaS, I think there's an operation for that.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 06:06 PM

Well I'm 100% Kant and 82% Sartre.
Who knew?

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 06:18 PM

NTMTOM, you have officially brought this blog to a new level. of what, i'm not certain. but the fact that you call a pimp a "retro-urban folk archetype" really makes me think.

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 06:59 PM

"Translated into dog:

Rowf grrr howl rowr :tinkle: gurrur ower :whine: bark ruff :pant pant pant: arf growl...."

It's kinda like that in English, too.
Dave - Love it - you're absolutely right!

 |  Jun 30, 2008 at 07:57 PM

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