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Jan 01, 2008

And now, an LOL cat translation of the Bible

Beeble From Genesis 1: "Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem."

And so much more... Here.

Thanks for all who sent this in, especially Lisa M.

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 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 07:01 PM

Oh Em Gee teh FunnIeZ! An it was g00d!

 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 07:06 PM

Seriously, don't let the commenters from the "Meg says goddamn" commentroversy thread see this or there will be h-e-double-hockey-sticks to pay. (also, don't let the icanhascheezburger regular commenters see it or 'll never be able to understand these comment threads again. )

lolz. ;)

Happy Fuzzy New Year's everyone, with many cold noses and warm snorgles to come.

 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 07:18 PM

god thinks this is qte kthxbai

 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 07:18 PM

I teach elementary school and have a student that speaks and writes just like this! Only not about the bible and more about guns, gangs, and violence. Sigh...

"Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 07:21 PM

thats so funny! I think some people may have a little too much time on their hands... :-P translating the whole bible into kitteh language...wow!

I'm with you Aesthetica...hopefully those nuffers took their indignance and left when they had the chance!

 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 07:22 PM

18 Now, teh burth of teh Christ was liek dis: After Marry and Joseph waz all "We's gonna get marrieded, kthnx", but before dey could had hankiez pankiez Mary was all pr3ggerz from Teh Forse.19 Joseph was liek "I has virjn - NOOOO dey be stealin my virjn! Must hied hur".

Matthew 1

 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 07:24 PM

1st chapter of the Gospel of John is cracking me up. Well done whoever.

 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 07:37 PM

This is genius. From Luke 1:

34 Mary wuz liek "O rly, i iz a virgn remembr."35 Gabriel wuz all "Ceiling Cat wil take caer of it."

 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 07:38 PM

Oh and btw if Ceiling Cat had eated everything in the beginz, that would have maded him Kronos and not Yahweh, rite?

 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 07:38 PM

*screams in horror*

(the original) Mel
 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 08:07 PM

this is so wrong, but sooooo funny. Ceiling cat? oh no you didn't!

 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 08:23 PM

please delete this, its been posted on every site on the entire internet. its stupid, and doesnt deserve any sort of recognition.

voice of reason
 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 08:46 PM

Voice of Reason, you searched EVERY website on the internet to check this? Wow, that's a lot of pr0n!

 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 09:45 PM


 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 09:58 PM

hahaha @ taj!! dat is alot of pr0n!

but the voice of reason knoweth all!

I <3 ceiling kitties

 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 10:36 PM

ZOMG! Teh Ceiling Cat inspirez anohter grayt werk.

 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 11:00 PM

Genius! but gets a little tiring to read.

Hon Glad
 |  Jan 01, 2008 at 11:26 PM

This brings to mind the hilarious lolcat version of T.S. Eliot's The Wasteland. http://www.corprew.org/content/lolcat-wasteland/ . It gets tedious after a couple stanzas, but I just love the idea behind the enterprise. Oh, how I wish there were crude lolcat versions of all great works of literature.

Jess M
 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 01:10 AM

Here's a thought for 2008 - even tho I don't like this, I am thankful we can post it freely. just think, if this was from the Koran you would all be on a death list somewhere!

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 02:03 AM


 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 02:55 AM

I love ceiling cat.

I admit the only reaon I looked at the comments for this was to see if the goddamn nuffs didn't like this one either.

tee hee

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 03:18 AM

rn500 you are on the death list like all of us cause we answer all to ONE GOD - you know the one who's being blasphemed here.
I'm sure you all wish to have been a nuff when you grill in hell

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 03:39 AM

To KHA (and nuffs of EVERY religious stripe), some of us revere Ceiling Cat, while others answer to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and others still acknowledge nothing more divine than a perfectly fluffy puppy. To quote the late, great Dr. Bronner (he of the excellent organic soap), "ALL ONE!"

There is no sectarian prejudice in teh qte, only fuzzy harmony.


J. Bo
 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 04:16 AM

OK, I'm not a nuffer 99% of the time. And I don't think I'm going to nuff now - because I have "my bible" and this is just supposed to be silly and funny. I doubt seriously that God will strike anyone down because they thought this is funny - because after all - didn't HE instill us all with imagination?

This is the kitteh bible, of sorts... long live ceiling cat. It's cute.

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 04:28 AM

Holey guacamole. Maybe not so much of "translation" as "parody"... I can see why people will be nuffy about this one.

just me
 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 04:32 AM

I got a whole lotta reading to do today!!! tewtley hilare so farz!

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 05:34 AM


I am a Messianic.

My G-d has a sense of humor.

I don't see any blasphemy here.

Instead, I see G-d as laughing his head off.

He created intelligence and humor in the first place, the intellectual capability and mind of those who came up with the idea of Ceiling Cat.

This is just the hilarious fruit of G-d's great creation.

I strongly suggest that you take a chill pill. Relax. :o)

Silent Meow
 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 06:03 AM

To quote John 1:16,
Becuz is a lotz of grayce we can has cheezburgers.

I love it! LOL!

Silent Meow
 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 06:11 AM

I think the most amazing thing about the "translation" is that it loses nothing in translation! How dear. :)

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 06:24 AM

I have a new appreciation for last week's parsha after reading it again in lolspeak.

20 Ceiling Cat wuz liek to babyladies, yu cann hav cheezburgers.21 An buckets.


Cleen YoTeefah
 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 06:43 AM

Thank you for posting this! Tewtelly hilarious, made my day, but more than just the usual laugh out loud humor I come here for, thank you for not caring about what the crazies are going to say in retaliation! As someone who was raised extremely religiously I've always loved religious humor because it lightens up what so many people take much too seriously. Religious humor + LOL cat humor just takes it over the top.

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 07:39 AM

Are you people just seeing the LOLcat bible now? I've been showing it in my classroom for months! Check out Job something something: Ceiling cat gives and ceiling cat takes away. I will still follow the ceiling cat (or words to that effect). There's a different highlight verse posted each day.

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 08:20 AM

I am also very religious, but I LOVE cats and humor.

I just about die laughing whenever I read this feline Bible paraphrase.

Who says that religion and religious people have to be dry and boring as dirt?


Silent Meow
 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 08:24 AM

Meg, ur godam awsum!111!!!!

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 08:44 AM

While I might not find this funny, I do find people whingeing about what other people do on teh internets right amusing. It's also good to see that people can have a sense of humor about their religion.

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 09:07 AM

This is hysterical! I've seen it at least somewhere else for sure, but I'm glad to get the link again!

jess/silent meow: agreed! God has a sense of humor. If he made us, he made our humor built right in.

(And lets not forget the platypus. I always picture God saying "wait wait, check this one out!" and laughing, as he builds a platypus out of spare parts.)

one of the erins
 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 10:22 AM

And Ceiling Cat sez: It is g00d.
Our commentz are almost as good as the bibul.

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 10:48 AM

LOL! I think a decout sense of religion and a wacky sense of humor can co-exist! Mah kitteh sed so.

Patty P
 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 11:09 AM

Oops! Make that "devout"!

Patty P
 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 11:11 AM

Ah, I expected far more in the way of commentroversy... but the day is young! Almost disappointing, really - not too much in the way of nuffing and creative retorts. Maybe all the hardcore self-righteous but misguideds really did take their balls and go home after the "goddamn" commentroversy (which I just revisited last night and voted for in the poll!).

I haven't read the whole thing yet, but again, the day is young. How fun and how infinite are the possibilities of the imagination! If there is a supreme being responsible, well kudos to him/her for supplying tons of that as well! And kudos to you, Meg, for posting it. (And I do mean the yummy snack food!)

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 11:24 AM

J.Bo: Fuzzy harmony - I like it! The Wasteland - lolcat version - just so cool.

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 12:32 PM

Wow! Much better than "Good News for the Modern Man" version. Makes more sense to me. Also, what kind of deity would send someone to hell for having humor AND who would want to worship said deity. Not me. Nuffers: don't even bother to threaten me with hell, I don't believe in it. However,I do believe in evil and you folks are the personification of evil. Holier than thou and just plain evil.

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 12:53 PM

What in the world is LOL cats? I'm beginning to be thankful that I have no idea what you ppl are talking about.....

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 01:29 PM

What in the world is LOL cats? I'm beginning to be thankful that I have no idea what you ppl are talking about.....

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 01:30 PM

Garlicknots - go to http://icanhascheezburger.com/

and you shall learn. there are other sites, but that will get you going. (Welcome to the dark side)


 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 02:34 PM

I discovered this a couple of weeks ago and spent a saturday reading it...Revelations is great, you should check it out. You get used to reading the lolcatspeak. There are many moments of genius in the lolcat bible! I especially like it that Ceiling Cat sits with seven kittehs by his throne.

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 05:33 PM

Check out the picture in Genesis 3, I maded it. :D

That site made me extremely happy when I found it, so I am equally happy to see it recognized here.

And KHA can has a sad and loenly life lawlz. Somebody needs some surpries buttsecks to lighten him up!!!

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 06:23 PM

only bibell i iz gonna reed.

 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 07:01 PM

All good comments, but I like silent meow's the best. What a joyful and sweet thing this is to read. Nothing mean spirited, nothing but silly fun. I believe everyone's higher being wants us to smile and take a break from the harsh realities every now and then. Peace.

Anne Boleyn
 |  Jan 02, 2008 at 07:38 PM

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