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Jan 08, 2007

"Kiss a lovely moose"

We're all familiar and adore "Engrish", but today, it's time for the Russian version of it. Behold the "Kostrama Moose farm" in central Russia. Not only are the photos TDF, but the phrases and translations are extremely entertaining.

There is an overwhelming admiration for the meese. The farmers claim "Moose cows love us more than their own children."


"They run to us whenever we call."


and "and some - big bulls, kind like kitten. "


According to the site, "Swedish army had moose troops... Moose turned out to be wiser then their knights, they left battlefield to hide in the nearest forest if danger occured."


The Kostrama Moose farm website has delightful (snort) content categories too: "Why Moose?" "Buy a Tame Moose", "Heal a Peptic Ulcer" (Apparently a moose-related specialty) "Drink a Moose Milk" and my favorite: "Kiss a lovely Moose". 


NOT TO MENTION the knobbular delights that are the moose baby photos.



sooooo.... wobbly.... must.... try....


The author of the site has a future in coffee table book, for sure. 


Daisy H. does it again. Brilliant, brilliant find, Girl!

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Okay, 1.) I had no idea that moose (mooses, meese?) were that large. What do I know, I'm from Kansas?
2.) How is it possible for the baby mooseling's legs to be THAT long?
3.) Where does one keep a pet moose?
4.) Now the Russians are getting in on the Qte?

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 09:38 AM

the massive tongues....so cute! It's like a MONSTER slurp.

Redzilla, you're a jayhawk? As am I :)

And yes, moose are a wee big bigger than buffalo (let's relate it to midwestern animals you might have seen)

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 09:41 AM


I will say that the bebe Meeses are adorable...but...

the adult moose...HUGE! Did you see how big that thing was? Yeep! It might eat me!

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 09:41 AM

A Møøse once bit my sister ...

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 09:42 AM

They are so tute (too cute) I want to hug them all. But then again moose can be violent when provoked and that mama looked very big.
Soooo much legs.

Emily Anonymous
 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 09:45 AM

I bet their muzzles are so soft and velvety. I love meesies to pieces!

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 09:46 AM

From the site (about feeding the moose "sweets"):

"For you - is it dangerous? Perhaps. Do not break rules. Do not run, do not cry, do not try to pick up dropped sweets... and be patient with a soft warm tender moose. Just as if it is a horse."


 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 09:47 AM

i wants it!!!!!!! Where can i get my very own tamed moose?

Allie and Jojo-s Mom
 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 09:47 AM


 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 09:47 AM

Oh my, I think this is my favorite CO photoset EVAR!

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 09:48 AM

The babies are very cute, as are all babies, but I don't know if I would want to "Kiss A Lovely Moose!". I have to check out this website!

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 09:49 AM

Wow....I didn't even know they had moose in Russia.

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 09:49 AM

I had no idea adult moose were so HUGE!

The posted moose "warnings" I've seen along New England's highways don't expound, where the size of an adult is concerned.

"Brake for Moose"...the absurdity is, when/if one sees them, who wouldn't?

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 09:53 AM

OMG Mo0S1es!!1!!

And daisyj, you know it's only your sister's own fault. If she hadn't been carving her name in the moose with an interspace toothbrush the whole incident could have been avoided.

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:00 AM

"brake for moose" does seem a bit unnecessary now that I've seen an adult. The sign might as well say, "Brake for moose or DIIIIIIIIE!"

Oh, and Jenn, I would like to say that I am not a Jayhawk :o) My people have always thought of ourselves as Free Staters.

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:01 AM

Finally! I've been telling people for years that moose are total cutie pies; I mean come on, who couldn't love those huge faces?

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:01 AM

OMG, that last pic! *heart palpitates*

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:01 AM

i love the one with the doggie and the moose. who who baby meeses were so cute?!!!

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:04 AM

hahah nice legs! soo cute

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:04 AM

I only have one thing to say...
"Moose troops"!
Moose troops, people! Surely this is the answer to the ongoing debacle in Eye-Rack!

Tony James
 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:05 AM

"I had no idea adult moose were so HUGE!"

Yes, indeedy--800-1000 lbs going through your windshield could be fatal. On NE's hilly, twisty, dark roads you often don't see them till they're in your headlights. So the caution is really to slow down and watch out. That said...

Looks like a new Disney movie in the making, called "Bamboose"!

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:12 AM

CARLEEESA!! :-D [waves and blows kisses]

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:14 AM

Best part is, under "Kiss a Lovely Moose" on the siteit doesn't actually say anything about kissing the moose. I'm always amazed that those spindly little legs can hold up that kind of bulk.

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:16 AM

Teh awwsum. Glad I'm fostering CATS, though, and not über-hoofers like these.

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:25 AM

daisyj and mleiv have been sacked.

warrior rabbit
 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:26 AM

I shall kees a lovely moose...if it is wee! Those wittle faces!

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:27 AM

Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...

Tony James
 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:32 AM

Indeed, I shall kees a lovely moose. Especially if it exhibits such knobular and gangly and redonkulously wonky anatomy as these.

A thinker
 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:32 AM

Oh what a great creature the moose is
It goes pretty much wherever it chooses.
If you're in the woods and happen to see
The hugest, widespaced footprints and you're screaming, "Yeti!!!" (like me)
It's probably a moose in its' size 92W shoeses.

That took me about a minute to compose so either it's really bad or I moosed have been inspired. I live in moose country. This is a wuh-hunderful, breathtaking post! Thanks, Meg!

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:38 AM

And look! In the second picture, the little moose in the background is cleverly carrying a bucket on his shoulders!

J. Bo
 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:40 AM


 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:55 AM


 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:56 AM

>Dead from cute<

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:57 AM

I just can't think the mooses are cute, knobby knees and all. I am afraid of them. They charge cars. A moose killed one of my cousins. They're really scary animals despite their knobolishish knees... like polar bears.

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:57 AM

"Dispensation of oatmeal is not an easy work during a ringing frost" is my new sig line.

My fave photo on the site is the one titled Oatmeal is the best food in the world.


Karen in Toronto
 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:58 AM

"The huge molars of Horst Nordfink."

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 10:58 AM

OK, I went to the Moose Farm site and to the English language version. It cannot be real. Meg, did you do the translation from the Russian? Or did you create the whole thing? If so, it's your greatest post. "big bulls, kind like kitten?" 'Fess up, Meg.

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 11:01 AM

It's so swell to see lesser-fussed-over mammals getting face time on C.O.: ratties, batties, possumses and now meese! As a Mainer, I find this one especially heartwarming, and it takes me back to moose-watching on my honeymoon. I just goes to show that what my dad says is true...mammals sure are cute!

Anne R.
 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 11:02 AM

Karen - "Russian try-outs for the Radio City Rockettes were well attended..."

Tony James
 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 11:02 AM

I'm convinced their babies have flexible wires as opposed to actual bones. Look at how they curl up!

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 11:04 AM

The moose farm administrator is a person with a sense of humour. This is such a great picture:


And I must say he is as brave as all get out, I would never get this close to such a huge, huge, huge animal. It looks as big as an elephant.

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 11:05 AM

I'm convinced their babies have flexible wires as opposed to actual bones. Look at how they curl up!

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 11:06 AM

Baby moose noses are, indeed, soft--velvety, quivery, soft.

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 11:10 AM

When I went to Alaska, the guide at Denali said he's more afraid of stumbling across a mother moose with her calf than a grizzly mother and cub. They are ginormous!!

P.S. Love the Python references people!

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 11:10 AM

i wants to kiss a lovely moose! or two!

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 11:13 AM

we luv Alexandr Minaev. What a cool guy!

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 11:16 AM

Impeccably timed Monty Python reference, daisyj! Kudos to you!

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 11:17 AM

I have to add to the ringing chorus here: OMIGOD THAT'S A HUGE HEEEEEED! Really, is there something wrong with the perspective here--is the moose's head foreshortened or something? I mean, I know they're big bloody animals, but . . . WHOA. THAT'S ONE BEEEG HEEEED!

Madame Sosostris
 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 11:17 AM

That third picture has inspired me to create a new yoga pose. (Sideways sleeping moose? Or perhaps, sideways slepping moose.)

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 11:24 AM

It looks like there's a bit of strange perspective going in the picture with the adult moose and the woman, which makes the moose look even larger.

All the same, they are big creatures. Being Alaskan, I've had the privilege of seeing more than one up close (startled one on my bike once). Although they're normally pretty peaceable and only threats to one's father's prized apple trees *cough*, you can never forget that they're wild creatures. More than one Alaskan has died thanks to stupidity around moose. They will protect themselves and their young, and those hooves of theirs combined with their size and weight can reduce a human to the consistency of cherry pie filling. So, yes, caution is needed.

There is, however, no denying that knobbly-kneed little mooses are the height of adorableness.

 |  Jan 08, 2007 at 11:25 AM

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