Sparky the teeneh Boston Terrier would like to show you his miniature, snorglable, slightly chub-rolled, soft-as-heck chest.
You may now go back to your regular work day.
Kevin T., Sparky is one cute lil' mofo.
You can put away your protractors People, [snort!] There is no need to double check my math—the curve on this kitteh's belleh is perfect.
How do I know? [pushing up glasses] I got the sudden urge to smoosh my face into it [clapping hands in 'done!' motion]
Marlies W., yer email had TWO postable shots. I think we should send you a certificate.
The Cuteness Level of this kitteh is "muy cute."
But watch, as the kitteh tilts his head to a side. INSTANT ADDITIONAL CUTE POINTS TAKING HER TO 'MOOCHAS CUTE!!!"
Giuli, Yes. Yes, she is muy cute.
Eyebrow raising is, pure and simple, instantly cute.
Eyebrow-raising PLUS a head-tilt PLUS a "Baroo?" sound is deadleh.
/• •\
Great find, Albert W.
If you try and eat your own appendage, it's cute. [insert Ron Jeremy joke here]
aRrrrng aRrrrng aRrrrng
Alexandra R. says this is Maverick, a beagle and ESTEEMED DAILY PUPPY. You must go see his other photos. You will dieeeee!
"Peewee" pup was adopted to become a full-time companion.
Do you think there was a little sign at the pet adoption place that said: "Best muzzle-pow-sche evar."
I think serhe.
Lindsay G., Thanks for adding ANOTHER tail rule.
Your tail is all: "Herylerhe, what's happeningk?"
And your ears are all flat and not listening.
Our Sthuper Sthecret Rules just got BoingBoinged. Oh, the hilarity!
Here you can see all the examples of LOLSpeak.
I wonder why they didn't just show the Glossary!?
Dee-lee-shous leepy steecky.
I must have eet!
Melissa—your puppy looks great in "Precious Pink"!
THE FURBROW IS OFFISHE!
It's Rule of Cuteness #31, thanks to Jorden C., "Toasty" the queen of the Furrow, and YOU (with all yer opinions.)
Let's just say that the 'Furbrow' is almost always accompanied by a "Baroo?!"
OK, People, this is UN-PEE-RESS-A-DENTED!
Not one but TWO rules of Cuteness at ONCE! [hyperventilating]
I might have to sit down.
RULE #29: If you flex your paws repeatedly in a kneading motion in the air for no reason, IT'S CUTE!
RULE #30: If your breath shows in the form of your stomach moving in a quick, fluttering fashion, IT'S SO CUTE!
This day will live in INFAMAY, Jen S.!
Heck, it's about time we made this an official Rule of Cuteness. What took so long? I mean, this one is so obvy. This one is also known as "Princess Di" eyes, since she was so good at it. Of course this rule should also be known as "puppy-dog eyes"—same deal.
Accordin' to sender-inner Sydney G., "John Bailey" the bun is "ready to go public" with this photo. LOL!
OK, it's official, Peeps, a new Rule of Cuteness is the appearance of "chub" or small rolls underneath eyes (as shown in this post.) Another prime example of 'Chub' is shown here with this dachshund's pawsitude.
Nice rolls, Rex! (And Sarah V.)
Meg: Settle down, People, there is a guest cuteologist here for a lecture, and he has some excellent observations to share with the class. Dr. Mike-in-Denver, please, go ahead. [open gesture to crowd]
Mike in Denver: [Clears throat] Um, yes, thank you, Dr. Frost. Let me start by saying that while perusing The Cute I have noticed a phenomenon that I think is worth suggesting for a possible canonization.
[students at edges of seats, hummingbirds buzzing overhead carrying notes]
Namely, sleepy eyes: the droopy lids, the unfocused expression, but mainly the overemphasized lower eyelid region. When prominent, this seems always to = cute (unless it's on, say, Brian Dennehy). I have attached a mashup of some good examples for your class to review.
While this may be a subset of 'eye capsules' (as the two are often interlinked), it seems to function independently. It also seems that kittens, puppies, and other young'uns are best at this, but then, they're best at everything, I suppose.
Anyway, I thought I should go ahead and submit this to the CuteLab for analysis.
[students nod enthusiastically]
Meg: Thank you very much, Dr. Mike-in-Denver. Students, GET ANALYZIN'!
Sure, their might be some dirty laundry in this photo, but please try and focus. The point is that four-legged Phoebe can successfully tuck herself into bed, and dammit, that's adorable. Ruhmember when Rufus did that?
Good work, Phoebes. You too, Elisabeth D.!
The irresistable dangling paw. You must GRAB EET!
"Yams" and his flopping, dangling pawsitude is just too much!
Kim S., that's the cleanest kitty nose of all time.
Yeah, yeah, I'm from the E.T. generation and that can only mean one thing: suction cuppage on ends of fingers is anerable. And this guy also wins the coveted Beadiest of Eyes trophy.
"Mouse lemur" Googler Sarah A.—you could never disappoint us...
RULE number 14 owns you. You cannot deny it. Just TRY. Guinea piglets Penelope, Natalie, Licorice and Padfoot WILL attack if you try!
Wait..."Natalie?"
Whatever you say, John Warner...
Rule #23, People! It's been a while since we've seen a new rule, and this is long overdue. Spindly lil' legs with knobby hocks are a must. Don't fight me on this!
Little mobile fawn is from Heather C., the Seashepardess!
...and if your eyes match the carpet, BONUS!
Other bonus features: head tilt, teeny tail, and I can hear the purring if I get really close to the screen... ;) Thanks Jiminy S.
OK, People, give this a chance here. Eye "capsules", as seen on the baby Wombat on the bottom photo, are cute.
Sure, this wombat could rip your heart out with his nails faster than you could say 'shrimp on the—" but his eye capsules are still cute.
Janet N. Blink Blink!
...Especially if they're clean....
Steve H. sent in Mika and and Charlie...
First of all, this image comes from "HedgeHogCentral.com." It's the most brillo name ever. Home of the INTERNATIONAL HEDGEHOG ASSOCIATION, PEOPLE! Please look at this logo—it's a HedgeGlobe logo. Oop, I mean "IHA."
Next, let's all take a look at this month's winner of the "Hedgehog of
the Month" contest; "Sable", also known as Miss March. Sable has the
most prosh, teeny paws, and deserves a standing ovation. Absolutely
anerable.
Especially her one limp paw. Too much. Thanks for sending in, E to the C!
Would you please just look at Master Fluff. Yes, the same Master Fluff of "Doc-tare Pepp-are Manshons" fame. She has the smallest cutest tail ever captured on film. And if you lean really close to the screen, you can snorgle her ears.
Remember the deal; "If you bring me dee treats, I come out of dee manshon." Wise, wise, words, Master Fluff.
We all know that cheek puff is anerable. Duh!
But we have yet to document ear size. Obvy, the following otter is modeling ideal cute ear size, which is pretty much equivalent to a non-existant ear. So basically, less ear is better. I'm just sayin'.
CHEEK PUFF ALERT!
What's an otter doing in a bed of straw, Amy L.? (I mean besides making evil plans)
For the longest time, I was planning to do Rule #16: Possums Can Never, Ever, EVER be Cute. I mean, it has ALWAYS been irrefutable—undeniable! Until now.
As my younger sister said as soon as she grew strong enough to beat _me_ up for a change: "Ah! so NOW the TABLES ARE TURNED!"
It's true. Possums can be cute, and here is the proof, thanks to one Meg C.:
And again in an artful pose, just waiting to be re-created in your Drawing 101 class:
Big props to serg at University of SouthAustralia who posted the original photos that Meg C. found. Schweet.
Let's just make this rule official and stop messing around. This guy is totally otterlicious—note teeny webbing in hands.
This is "Snowdrop" the otter, from the Dartmoor Wildlife Park in Devon, UK. He needs 120CCs of milk STAT!
Thanks for the tip, Lyssa B.!
// AMENDMENT! Due to the Great Jerboa Conflict of December '07, rule #15 has been amended to include OVERSIZED ears as well as small ears. This amendment shall be named The "Burton-Oakes Corollary." Thanks to Rule-Amendment Sender-Inner Kim B-O. //
Let's show this image to all World Leaders (Perhaps carried on a silver tray by UN Ambassadress Angelina Jolie?). Without a doubt, he ooh's and aah's (in their respective native languages) should lead to world peace instantly. The image may also cure cancer if used properly. Please be aware that two Cuteologists lost their lives bringing you this photo, due to head explosion.
At least Three Rules of Cuteness have been acheived, therefore earning the Coveted Cuteness Trifecta®:
#11 Cute animal + food
#6 Mimic humans
#14 An everyday, small item makes you look small
I give you... Akagami Hamster:
Would you just look at the size of that green Post-It® note next to this kittens' "litter box"? Now, look at the Post-Its® on your desk—now look at the kitten. Repeat!
...are instantly cute. I submit to you; "Chicken" the Pomeranian. A delightful little fellow, who travels by purse, and delights everyone he meets with his 5 pounds of energetic fluff. He's the perfect example of a wet nose and eyes. You can almost hear him as he's whisked away—"Listen, I've had it with the close-ups—this show is over!"
[Click the image to see the glisten!]
Thank you, Mary and Daveeda!
If there's one thing I know, it's everybody loves a friendly, floppy, fuzzy limb. We just want to reach out and grab it for some reason. Why do we do that? It may relate to Rule of Cuteness #2; look helpless. Does a floppy limb look 'helpless' and need 'support'? Who knows.
Like, check out this floppage from Laura Richmond's family hamster and "Porkchop's" lil' tail from Jen Mulson:
Alertly point out by photographer extraordinaire Kora Manheimer The bunny "Oolong" has earned his spot on the Internet by balancing dessert items on his head.
Please also see my new favorite site photo, submitted by Lora Singleton, of a Daschund puppy in a bun.
And let's not forget that we must bow down to the Japanese in every category [Japanese national anthem playing in background] For their brilliant kittens and puppies as sushi and desserts sent in by Rae Wescott:
This bunnilicious photo of "Elliott" was found on Flickr, by a Heather W.
Exhibit A, People!
piles of kudos to Sarah Serata ;)
Mmm, delicious recliner... This Frodo-Footed hamster, (obviously his BHF is "Baruchito") alertly submitted by Heng Joo Seng. Heng Joo, you outdid yourself.
This rule could also be called the Japanese rule of cuteness. Japanese characters are always accompanied by a little friend that helps them along, provides humor on demand, etc. AKA the Paris Hilton rule.
Props to The Australian Embassy!
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