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Oct 15, 2008

Benson Hedges, Private Eye!

It was half past midnight when I rolled up to the seediest dive on the wharf.  The ocean air send a prickly feeling up my back—the kind you get when danger lurks behind every door.

My Bentley's in the shop.  No, really.

Inside, I grilled a barfly for information, but she just turned her back and gave me the cold shoulder.  That dame was no lady—and it bugged me.

Just for that, doll, you don't get any hovertext.

Suddenly, I heard a noise in the back room.  I burst through the door just in time to put the bite on some yellow coward trying to escape.

GOTCHA!  Now ... start squeaking, pipsqueak!

For the next chapter in the thrilling adventures of Benson Hedges, Private Eye, visit sender-inner Heather's Flickr photoset!

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Comments

I love these little glimpses into NTMTOM's brain. A nice place to visit but you wouldn't wanna live there.

THERE'S A NEW WINSTON VIDEO!!!

Look over on the side, clicky on the Winston! link or search YouTube for "Winston, kicker".

WIIIIIIN-STOOOOOON!

(Not to diss this way cute hedgie girl in any way, with her baby moist nosicle for trouble and all.)

lurkertype
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 03:32 PM

"Moist Nosicle For Trouble: A Benson Hedges Novel".

lurkertype
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 03:35 PM

@scooterpants
*thinks* I ended a sentence in a preposition, didn't I?

Shame on me - I should know better (English major).


Stephanie C.
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 03:36 PM

How many times has a scenario like that in the third pic played through my downy yellow head?
So many times.
So, so many times.

[DINSDAAAALE... - Ed.]

Patito Gigante
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 03:38 PM

NTMTOM - "Porky in Wackyland" - that was very scary but cute and if that is the way that your mind really works - OH BOY - have to say life would never be boring!!!

JudyRB
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 03:39 PM

Chopper - what a great post, I hope that sets Jeannie's concerns to rest.

As for the post -- well I don't want to talk out of school, but I saw Ms. Hedges running pell mell down Pall Mall, looking for some way to sneak her Viceroy into the Kool Klub. Instead, she found Virginia Slim and the Camel trying to sneak some Old Gold out of the clutches of Phillip Morris. Talk about a Lucky Strike!!

berthaservant
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 04:02 PM

B-Serv is sssssssmokin'.

Theo
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 04:03 PM

Chopper, My kids and I loved watching the flickr slideshow of your little Missy Hedgie. We were curious, however, as to the red (paint?) on her back. Can you enlighten us? We're kitteh people, so hedgies are a mystery. Thanks.

petrie
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 04:07 PM

Yes, Teho, but what?

[...mirrors, maybe? - Ed.]

lurkertype
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 04:10 PM

CUTENESS!!! Squeal!

eikoleigh
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 04:44 PM

@b-serv: Very good!

Not That McCoy The Other McCoy
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 05:06 PM

That is such a new idea! Try to deepen your post by adding adjectives that can make people relate to it more. Great idea, though. Keep on adding!

Erin
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 05:11 PM

It's Spiny Norma!

Neb
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 05:21 PM

@petrie: I'm Mrs. Chopper, and Paisley the PI's mom. The red paint on her back was used by the breeder to mark her in her litter. Her siblings have different color. It's non-toxic (child-safe) paint, and will come off in time.
Thanks for all the lovely comments - we think she's a sweet, hilarious little girl, too. ;)

Heather
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 05:28 PM

NTMTOM--Congrats on another great story-LOL!
Wish I had your brilliantine...

cachorro
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 05:35 PM

You said it, Chopper. Nicely done.

spb
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 06:14 PM

hmmm ok, one issue at a time-

YES! Stephanie C. - your ending a sentence in a preposition was certainly exactly what i was refering to, shame on you , bad girl... what a rebel you are! you rock most rockably. :) God LOVES an english major!

Mary(da ferst)
we are of the same mind. gotta luf ya. tanks,(oh, please, no applause...)
bah ha ha ha ha!
-snort-

B-servER-
you seem to be in rare form this eve, hopefully meaning you are feeling better? and in a better place? fabulous!
now, we just gotta get ya layed. (within limits of course)

scooterpants
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 07:52 PM

Looks like an octadon is a rodent genus, which includes the adorable degu. Probably a term more commonly used in German?

Missa
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 07:54 PM

I totally imagined Guy Noire's voice (in reality Garrison Kealor) with that! Great job with the story telling and hovertext NOM TOM. :3

Vicki
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 08:24 PM

Oh, so precious. These super cute baby hedgehogs are adorable too...

http://critteristic.com/other-cuties/not-1-not-2-but-3-cute-hedgehogs/


Thalia
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 09:11 PM

Outside, I barfed a grillfly...

(OK fine I'll go to bed)

Theo
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 09:19 PM

- Zee story, I liked eet!
- "Porky in Wackyland" is full of win.

Raemie L.
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 09:20 PM

@Vicki: "A dark night in a city that knows how to keep its secrets. But on the 12th floor of the Acme building, one hedge is trying to find the answers to life's persistent questions..."

Not That Mike The Other Mike
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 10:14 PM

Thanks for the compliments, peeps (as to what I'm smoking, I will say that it is fully legal in the state of California where I live). I'm just building off NTMTOM's brilliance.

And LURVING the Guy Noir references. Can Rusty and Lefty's opinions on hedgies be far behind?

Powdermilk Biscuits for everyone!!!

berthaservant
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 10:21 PM

God, that last pic where she's picking up or nibbling the rubber ducky is massive swoons for me. Must have Hedgie.

Marie
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 10:49 PM

@scooterpants

Are you sure? In the last week I've had three mid-terms, a major paper and (let's count, shall we) 47 separate poems/stories to read. I'm feeling some karmic hate right now from someone.

Now, if only I had a human exercise ball to help relieve the stress. : )

Stephanie C.
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 11:06 PM

Benson and Hedgehogs.

Hon Glad
 |  Oct 15, 2008 at 11:40 PM

Haha, I love how the duck's expression works perfectly for being bitten on the butt by a hedgehog.

Danielle
 |  Oct 16, 2008 at 02:27 AM

Soooo ... peeps in the US keep 'edg'ogs as pets? That's a novel thing for me, here you just find them in the wild.

starling
 |  Oct 16, 2008 at 05:27 AM

Starling -- On the other hand, I am so in love with the idea that hedgehogs live in the wild and you can just see them wandering around like squirrels or birds.

I want to see that almost as much as I want to see wild guinea pig colonies (I picture them thundering across the pampas like bison).

rodona
 |  Oct 16, 2008 at 06:45 AM

Wait! That hedgehog had better not be named Benson! My hedgehogs are named Benson (like the cigarette) and Peanutbutter! I thought we were being original.

Little Sarah R
 |  Oct 16, 2008 at 08:03 AM

scooterpants you're hilarious!

This was one of the funniest post I've seen. I love it!

Pasikie, to you nuffers!

shannomo
 |  Oct 16, 2008 at 08:59 AM

The red paint on the hedgie's back can be easily removed with a little rubbing alchohol. My last hedgehog, Pumpkin, had green paint on her back as applied by her breeder. By accident, I discovered rubbing alchohol removed the green paint. I was so glad to get Pumpkin's ivory quills pristine after looking at the green paint for a year.

Joy
 |  Oct 16, 2008 at 09:20 AM

You all are so creative! Benson Hedges!!
Pell mell down Pall Mall was excellent. I used to work in a 7-11 when I was teenager and sold meeeeeelions of cigarettes. My grandfather smoked Viceroys.
On a related note, I was waiting in line to pay for my gas, and the guy in front of me paid the same price for a carton of cigarettes that I paid to fill my tank up!!!!????

Kris
 |  Oct 16, 2008 at 11:30 AM

Kris -- make sure you don't get the two mixed up in your mind.

Theo
 |  Oct 16, 2008 at 11:39 AM

Ohhh... nuffers. Make my brain hurt.

CJ
 |  Oct 16, 2008 at 11:58 AM

Ain't she just adorable?! Give her hugs and kisses from her 'secret admirer'. Pixie

PixiesExoticHedgies
 |  Oct 16, 2008 at 12:27 PM

@starling: Out of curiosity, where *are* you? When we found the first of several adorable families of hedgehogs living under our flat in Bristol, every single person I told wanted to swap his/her "cute hedgehog as childhood pet" story. I was jealous! Growing up in the US, I had only ever seen them in Beatrix Potter stories! Thank god for C.O.!

anise
 |  Oct 16, 2008 at 05:22 PM

You all just made me laugh so hard I nearly peed! I really needed that today (the laughter, not the pee) thanks!

spikedcolor
 |  Oct 16, 2008 at 06:51 PM

that was just too cute.

this blew 'classic detective movie' dialogues out of the water hehe...


more Benson Hedges to come?...

SCbunny
 |  Oct 17, 2008 at 12:36 AM

I'm in Britain, Anise. People don't have hedgehogs as pets. They feed them in their gardens and then consider them as "pets", perhaps, but nobody owns hedgehogs.

starling
 |  Oct 17, 2008 at 03:57 AM

@starling: Actually, in England, there are a few people who keep hedgehogs as pets- african pygmy hedgehogs (Like Benson/Paisley here) though, not your native hedgies seen under porches late at night.

African Pygmies (and algerian) are usually the only types of hedgehogs allowed to be kept as pets, as they've been bred to be pets.

I have to say I'm so happy I conned her into sending in these photos- duckbutt biting is a rare but wondrous thing!

Jessie
 |  Oct 17, 2008 at 05:52 AM

need more adventures from Benson Hedges, private eye!

meggy
 |  Oct 17, 2008 at 04:39 PM

O-M-SQUEEEEE!!!!!!

Tegwyn John
 |  Oct 17, 2008 at 06:22 PM

agree with meggy...

cachorro
 |  Oct 17, 2008 at 08:46 PM

@Joy - Great idea about the rubbing alcohol. I'll see if that does the trick.

Heather
 |  Oct 18, 2008 at 08:17 AM

I heard Humphrey Bogart speaking NOMTOM's words- maybe it is a generational thing. NOMTOM and Berthaservant, my humble congratulations on jobs very well done.

Katrina
 |  Oct 18, 2008 at 01:53 PM

The comments to this entry are closed.

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