The Hedge Abides
"Get to your places!" shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up against each other. The Dude thought he had never seen such a curious bowling alley in his life; it was all ridges and furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the pins mere inches tall, and the soldiers had to lie on their backs and puff air in a continuous stream, to make the hand-dryers.
The White Rabbit rolled first, failing to convert a seven-ten split. "Your toe was over the line!" bellowed the Queen, as she pulled a Walther P99 semi-automatic from her bowling bag. "You're entering a world of pain! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"
From Lebowski's Adventures in Wonderland, p 63.
With apologies to Lewis Carroll, Joel and Ethan Coen, Brunswick Corporation, and of course sender-innerowski Anne H.
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Nobody (bleen)s with the hedge-us.
(that was a leftover.)
Bahaha!! Moist Nosicle gets a 7-10 split, but loses 1/2 point because the 10 was stuck to a quill.
Love the apologies!
Those pins should fall in shear terror from the glare in Hedgy's eye!
Lebowski/Alice mashup for the win!!!!! Love both. Adore this intent hedgie. Be mellow little dude.
I seriously need to know where to get mini bowling pins for my hedgie.
=/ I want one badly
Take it easy, man, there's a beverage here!
Meg, you're killin' me! OMG!
Zelda -- that's not Meg, it's Other Mike's first outing as a CO Post Author.
PS to NTMTOM: I dropped in a few reference links for ya.
grippy little ineffectual claws/moist nosicle/hard stare.
all most impressive.
Setting the bar pretty hig on the first time out, Other Mike!
Lolled!
Teho: I saw that; nicely done, and I'll try to do that myself in the future.
**high, that is...
I think I like it better as "hig" Michelle. It's like "sleppy".
WHAT? New person posting?
I mean, it's great. Awesome, actually.
:: walking away in a jealous huff ::
... and if you can't leave in a huff, you can leave in a minute and a huff.
Dude. Pick one and stick with it.
(I mean, I understand teh funny. But you have other outlets now.)
So what happens next? The hedgie fixes the cable?
Erm, make mine a *Caucasian* if you please. ;)
[Edited to obscure part of your real-word email address... - Ed.]
I'm here for the rug.
Dag nabbit, i got beaten to the punch with the rug joke.
That hedge is the dude. Or his dudenes. Or El Duderino.
that hedgie is SO cute...love the moist little nosie...
Oh, it's on, the Other. Your next post will be cursed. CURSED, I tells ya.
Hehehehehe, Berthaservant -- given my tendencies, it's probably cursed already. :-) Anyway, I would like to say thanks to Meg for the fun opportunity and I hope to keep you folks smiling and/or wincing in the future.
Must... bink... nose... Enh... enh... screen... in... way...
YES! Double ref FTW!
You win the internets.
I luffs the hedgies. This site is what made me realize how flipping cute they really are. Plus St. Tiddlywink or Tigglewinks or something! It's a Hedgehog Hospital in England. Next time I go there, I'm going to this place. If I can remember the name.
@Wicked: I searched on "hedgehog hospital in England" and came up with a lot of hits for some place called "Prickly Ball Farm" -- might that be the place?
http://www.devon-connect.co.uk/attractions/hedgehogs/hedgehogs.htm
BOOYAH.
http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/02/human_head_clon.html
St. Tiggywinkle's.
Oh, I'm having fun with this. Hehehe.
Really, this is brilliant. Thank you.
Ok, I can't be the only one who wants him to pull a "Sonic" by curling into a ball and knocking those pins right over.
Oh if he were only wearing shoes with little numbers on the back...
Meg,
That was Vintage Frostian Brilliance. The whole reason we visit this site.
Thanks. I needed that.
Most amazing post ever. I love this site so. so. much.
NTMTOM.. Dude. Win. Very very win. I hope to see more posts in the future!
Superlative!
Keep up the good work, NTMTOM. Glad to see you have posting privileges. God help us all.
Meg, you've outdone yourself. Alice, the Dude, AND an adorable hedge? I think my brain just imploded.
Viva Other Mike!!
NTMTOM, that was brilliant!
Now I look forward to Bertha's Daddy vs. The Other Mike LIVE. Whoooohoo!
NTMTOM, you're doing amazing on your maiden voyage! Hopefully the first of many wonderful postings.
And berthaservant would make a great poster too, Teho & Meg. He's already got quite the fan club here, you know.
Read this and thought, "This doesn't sound at all like Meg, not even like Teho... sounds like NTMTOM!"
And lo, it was so.
*giggles*
Amazing, Mike!
Those eye beams should knock the pins over.
Doesn't it look like the Dude is getting ready to do a Wile E. Coyote and spin his little back legs in place before going full speed ahead at the pins. Which will, of course, magically split down the middle to move out of his way and reassemble behind him.
Or else he's trying to sneak up on them. Are hedgies sneaky?
Congrats on a hilarious first post NTMTOM!
Other Mike? Does that mean there's a Proper Mike too?
The hand driers. *giggle*