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Dec 13, 2005

Is it wrong to want to SQUEEEEZE a kitten?

Honestly, HOW CAN YOU AVOID IT when the KITTEN LOOKS LIKE THIS? This photo, alertly pointed out by reader Mr. Ben Wolfson, is another fine product of Kittenwar.com. Bless 'em.

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Comments

when the game of life makes you feel like quiting it helps a lot if you,
kill a kitten
mark my words cause from were im sitting you cant go wrong if you,
kill a kitten
theres no crime that you'll be commiting, i know the law you can,
kill a kitten
and if you need yarn for that scarf you're knitting you'll get pleanty if you,
kill a kitten

feed it turpin-tine
or break its spine,
crush it with your shoe
as long as you
kill a kitten

if the one you love isn't quite as sh-mitting, she'll like you more if you
kill a kitten
and i quote the bible cause that's where it's written "if ye loveth jesus ye must
kill a kitten"

flush him down the can,
hit him with your van,
throw him at a train,
make him snort cocaine,
drown him in a lake,
bake a kitty cake,
sick some TNT,
up his cat booty,
do what you must do,
as long as you
kill a kitten

killing kittens isnt easy
if the thought makes you feel quzzy
grab a pitch fork from the shed
and kill a puppy dog instead

kill a kitten
kill a kitten
kill a kitten
fluffy kitten
you gotta kill a kitten
kill a kitten


meow

-Stephen Lynch, "Kill a Kitten"

I know, Steve and I are going to hell.

Zipko
 |  Dec 13, 2005 at 02:30 PM

yes, you are going to HELL.

but i like the song

"kill a kitten"
"kill a kitten"
"kill a kitten"

Im going to have that song stuck in my head all day.


meow

Ally
 |  Dec 13, 2005 at 03:26 PM

I love your site!

Lame Shrill Owl
 |  Dec 13, 2005 at 05:55 PM

Wow. You kill me. This is my new favorite site. Goddammit.

CMR
 |  Dec 13, 2005 at 06:33 PM

awwwww!

Laura
 |  Dec 13, 2005 at 06:33 PM

I LOVE YOUR SITE!

Natalie
 |  Dec 13, 2005 at 06:55 PM

i like "cats in sinks."
cats are almost dumb enough to eat.

gil wadsworth
 |  Dec 13, 2005 at 10:52 PM

that is so cute it almost hurts!

rachel
 |  Dec 14, 2005 at 11:27 AM

It's the small ear-to-head ratio!

Kevin
 |  Dec 14, 2005 at 11:31 AM

I have to say either my sense of humour has disappeared over night or that "Kill a Kitten" ditty is in very very poor taste. It's dreadful. Why does such a lovely cute website have such a hideous, Marilyn Manson type tune appearing on it. I must be missing the point by miles if everyone else thinks this is a "cute" "funny" "clever" ditty.

Tristin Huq
 |  Dec 15, 2005 at 12:47 AM

Tristin, it's a comment, left by someone who thought it was funny. Not exactly the representation of everyone's beliefs.

Tzarius
 |  Dec 15, 2005 at 04:10 AM

Heaven for fend if everything is not pastels and saccharine! Obviously, Zipko hit his "cuteoverload" saturation level. Isn't that the whole point of this site? I, for one, am glad that he purged a bit--such a condition can be deadly if not dealt with quickly!

Yours in nothing but happiness and sunbeams streaming through the occasional lovely cloud,

DJkilljoy
e: funhammer@somberbiddy.edu
w: facetiousnessisevil.org

DJkilljoy
 |  Dec 15, 2005 at 08:57 AM

bullies are pathetic, miserable assholes that don't deserve the space they take up.
people who don't care are also pathetic, miserable assholes who don't deserve the space they take up also.

jane`
 |  Dec 15, 2005 at 11:15 AM

Jane, people who get upset by other people making a joke are pathetic, miserable assholes that don't deserve the space they take up. Please stop wasting oxygen. Get a life. Go do something useful.

Jo
 |  Dec 15, 2005 at 11:32 AM

I find this very disturbing. A joke provokes laughter. Torture to any living creature isn’t something to laugh about.

Chris
 |  Dec 15, 2005 at 01:03 PM

OMG. All you guys shuddyup!

Meg
 |  Dec 15, 2005 at 01:05 PM

All hail Bubees, the destroyer of worlds, in a fab-tastic cute package. Don't let the ears fool you.

dabitch
 |  Dec 15, 2005 at 01:06 PM

This is my favorite so far.

Jessica Benet
 |  Dec 15, 2005 at 02:17 PM

Is it wrong to want to take that kitten, hug it as tight as possible, then ball it up and punt kick it across the room? Because if that's wrong, I don't wanna be right. >:)

wyzzrrd
 |  Dec 15, 2005 at 04:53 PM

LOL!!!!!!!!! You did not just say that!

Meg
 |  Dec 19, 2005 at 10:12 PM

Hey, I checked it out! It was really written by him!
I like cats...

Dora
 |  Dec 21, 2005 at 08:42 AM

OMG. this is my newest favorite site. wahhh!!! =)

ivy
 |  Dec 23, 2005 at 08:45 AM

this is when you stop going into work, and leaving the house and, washing and socializing but you don't care, you have a kitten

sarah
 |  Dec 29, 2005 at 09:56 PM

SOO CUTE!!!!!!!!! Can't help but meeelllllttingggggg *melts in cute helpless pile* ;)

Dana
 |  Jan 08, 2006 at 08:10 AM

He looks really dim witted. poor pussy.

catsarecrappy
 |  Jan 08, 2006 at 03:17 PM

"kill a kitten?" Do you know most serial killers begin by killing kittens...You freak!

evangelline
 |  Jan 26, 2006 at 07:58 PM

Evangeline, you're kidding, right?

And that kitten is too damn much...

A.C.
 |  Feb 01, 2006 at 08:22 PM

MY INNER CHILD WANTS TO EAT THE KITTY.

kochou
 |  Feb 06, 2006 at 02:22 PM

surprised! what a cutty! i think this kitten is from the flower planet~

daniel
 |  Feb 10, 2006 at 03:58 AM

meow!!!!!!!!!

Shan
 |  Feb 10, 2006 at 06:27 PM

That thing is JUST CUTE!

Tassie Taker
 |  Feb 16, 2006 at 05:45 PM

Zipko is a JERK/asinine unfeeling lump of flesh. Kitten is sweet and cute looking.

Dathia
 |  Feb 16, 2006 at 06:37 PM

I find the kill a kitten song HILARIOUS. Why? Not because I'm pro kitten killing, b/c it's a funny suggestion to relieve stress.
"My boss fired me! That asshole! Here kitty kitty."
It's funny. Get a sense of humor, because I highly doubt Stephen Lynch actually kills kittens for fun. This is why people write songs like this... to make hippies get all "Wah Wah why would you kill a kitten."

Jada
 |  Feb 17, 2006 at 08:07 PM

Its not wrong (talking to the caption)I wanna scream or eat it or *head blowes up* this'll do. I sort of agree with Jada.
Maybe he (stephen dude) got morbid for a few days, and boom, when he got back to normal, the poem had been published!

Lilua
 |  Feb 19, 2006 at 07:57 PM

aww so amazingly cute :D

daniela
 |  Feb 24, 2006 at 09:50 AM

I love Bubees!!!!!!!! where is this kitty now?

lala
 |  Feb 26, 2006 at 11:14 PM

i dont care about the fuckan words! the picture is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooocute!!!!!!!!

dark_angel
 |  Mar 05, 2006 at 01:04 AM

bubees is the cutest cat in the world!

cookie
 |  Mar 21, 2006 at 03:27 PM

Why is this anerable/totally freaky cat's tongue so long?

Lex
 |  Mar 26, 2006 at 10:24 AM

Oh, sooooooooooooooooo cute lil' killer kitten!

Hammy
 |  Mar 31, 2006 at 11:14 AM

That kitten is so cute I can't stand it, so cute it makes me cry!

That is seriously just the cutest kitten I have EVER seem in my life... And I thought my kittens were cute! Damn.

Jewels
 |  Apr 04, 2006 at 06:10 AM

Wow! Russian spam!

Helene
 |  Aug 11, 2006 at 05:47 PM

The comments to this entry are closed.

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